Willie Vs. Caesar: The Real Electoral Clash
It’s Election Day, and I’m here to ask you to pick between a couple of dummies.
Oh, wait — this has nothing to do with the people running for office in your state or county. But I can understand the confusion! No, I’m asking you to pick your favorite of the two ventriloquist dummies that appeared on The Twilight Zone.
On the one hand, we have Willie. Likes: eye tests, dancing girls, upstaging his partner. Dislikes: rival dummies, being locked in a trunk. He starred with Cliff Robertson in “The Dummy.”
On the other hand, we have Caesar. Likes: pacing, larceny, talking to people like they’re idiots. Dislikes: dimwits, nosy club owners. He starred with Jackie Cooper in “Caesar and Me.”
Need a refresher before voting? Click either title above to watch the episode on Hulu.
And don’t worry, it’s a completely secret ballot! After all, you know how homicidal this pair is. If Willie knew you’d picked Caesar, you’d be smashed flatter than poor Goofy Goggles. And if Caesar heard you’d pulled the lever for Willie, well … hello, poison darts.
You have until 5:00 p.m. EST on Wednesday, Nov. 5, to make your selection. Good luck!